Thoughts, concepts, habitual thinking, in general — the terrain of my intellect is often a barrier to authentic art practice. Art-making is a means for me to develop a language not steered or influenced by my intellect. When painting, I put myself in the position to learn from my body, to access stored physical memory of experience, to reveal truths that are not present in my thinking. Sometimes I close my eyes. Often I don’t look at the painting, I crowd up to it and make marks. I paint on my knees, or with the canvas on the floor. These little tricks open doors.
I want to recover art’s original, primitive function as I myself experience it. I am surprised, again and again, by what is revealed to me when I step out of the way and let the process happen. I wish I could say that this lack of self is routine, but it often proves difficult to maintain. All I can do is continue.
As I make progress toward learning about myself through painting, I realize one truth; Art, the actual object that art is, becomes much more than what hangs on walls and lives in museums. It becomes the very fabric of our shared reality. This understanding provides a faith in the creative process, in myself, and ultimately, faith in the world.
It is true that choice plays a large part in creating, but I now know that the “whys” of choice, the “whys” of subject or motivation are secondary to the process.